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i know how it feels
when i see you smile (:

No matter how long we exist,
we have our memories.
Points in time which time itself cannot erase
Suffering may distort my backward glances
but even to suffering,
some memories will yield nothing of her beauty or their splendor.
Rather they remain as hard as gems.

--Anne Rice--

Sunday, February 22, 2009
I feel like an arsehole...

I feel like a jerk...

What the hell is happening to me?!!!

I cannot even do what I've promised...
to my friends...
to myself...
to my family...

All these while I've told people like April, Jamie, CF, Ely etc (list is inexhautable) that I will help them out loads for block test, and that I shall be super well versed in what I am supposed to learn to be able to teach them...

But at this moment, I'm still freaking trying to study myself! I feel like a total failure...


All these while I told myself that I'll do things by certain dates, and continue with some of the things that I've wanted to do... But I just simply have no discipline! I'm like freaking wasting my life away doing nothing constructive...


My family...
I am super sorry to my siblings and parents...
I'm like such an idiot...
I just don't seem to appear much at home...
It just makes me feel so sad when my sis asks my mum why she doesn't see me at home...
It just makes me feel as if I've let my sis down when she's super happy that I can bring her home from school on Monday and thursday...
My brothers really wanna have a time to talk to me...
my parents too, want to have time to talk to me, but I'm like always reaching home late that they are going to bed already...
And now I think I can see that my parents are trying very hard to not force me to stay at home, though they really want me at home...

I dunno how else I can fufil any more promises to anyone...

I am a failure... till this point of time...


I love to stand in the rain, cos that is where nobody knows that I'm crying...

(R^3)CMI wrote some crap again... <3 12:03 AM

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